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~ Perspectives on Bible, philosophy, and politics (sometimes)

etsop95

Tag Archives: parenting

Some Thoughts on First Timothy (12)

19 Wednesday Jan 2022

Posted by Ron Thomas in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

parenting, roles, understanding

Understanding

In the Lord’s church, the one church in the New Testament the Holy Spirit sanctioned to exist, there is a God-ordained role that a male has, and that a female has. For instance, when the church gathers together as an assembly to worship the Lord, the role of the female is NOT to usurp the role of the male (the male cannot grant her any liberty to do this when the Lord expressly prevents it). This is easily understood when one reads 1 Timothy 2.

It is also easily understood when we think about family roles. A woman can’t be a father or husband, neither can a male be a mother or wife. In our society, rampant with liberal and secular confusion, if there are role reversals in the family that seeks to alter what the Lord established, two things will surely occur: first, it upsets the God-ordained role for the respective males and females, which contributes in a major way to the corruption of the community, then society. Second, those who do so will answer to Him who set those roles in place to begin with.

What about the circumstances associated when a husband/father abandons the family (or vice-versa)? The disruption brought to the family by the one who abandoned will not escape the Lord’s attention/judgment. For those left behind, what is the wife/mother to do? She can only do the best she can with the tools given her. This is not something that calls for God’s judgment on her; instead, it calls for others to be compassionate and understanding. The Lord’s church can be of great help in this setting, even if there is lack of understanding about what can be done.

WHEN PARENTS LEARN

24 Friday Sep 2021

Posted by Ron Thomas in Uncategorized

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Tags

community, learning, parenting

Children will always listen to words of instructions from their parents. This is both a compelling matter and a matter of love. Listen they will, but they learn so much more by the actions of their parents. Sometimes parents, even though they know this, do not allow this understanding to remind them of the importance of living righteously. From their parents, the children learn what is important in their lives. If the Lord is very important, the children learn this by the actions of the parents. On the other hand, if the Lord is not all that important, the children learn this by the actions of the parents as well. At some time in the future, when parents have learned (perhaps relearned) and come to value the Lord’s way differently than they have in previous years, they also learn they are too late to save their children because their earlier actions taught so well! Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6, ASV)

The moral grounding of each person is the starting place of the moral grounding of the family. Without the Lord, the moral grounding drifts on the water like driftwood, it goes back and forth. Many people have a moral grounding in place, but fail to implement it to firmly guide their lives. The byproduct is the community in which we live.

The Fifth Commandment – Honor Your Father and Mother

05 Friday Apr 2019

Posted by Ron Thomas in Sound Doctrine

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Exodus 20:12, honor, parenting, Ten Commandments

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).

It has been said many times that when one considers the Ten Commandments, it is not long before one notices the “geometric” approach taken by the Lord. In other words, the first four commands have a vertical approach to life, that is, in relationship to God, and the last 6 commands are focused on a horizontal approach, that is in relationship to one’s neighbor. Take note how this compares with the words of Jesus in Matthew 22:34-40, when Jesus said the two great commands are to love God with all of one’s being and to love one’s neighbor as one loves (takes care of) self.

The family is the basic community-unit of society. To break it down further, the basic unit of society is the individual, but the single person connects with one of the opposite sex in marriage (not otherwise) and forms the family. The dictionary defines a family as a “group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head” (dictionary, p. 660). Though not a narrowly defined matter, it is a starting point for a conversation to begin. There are two perspectives to consider when seeking how one should understand the word “family.” First, the perspective of God; second, the perspective of the community as set forth by man. From God’s perspective, the family is established in matrimony. From this family comes children. The following words teaches us where it all begins:

And Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof: and the rib, which Jehovah God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Gen. 2:21-25, ASV).  

With children coming forth from the mother and father, the parents are to instruct their children in God’s way. From the Lord’s perspective, if the children refused to submit the authority of the parents, there was severe punishment forthcoming. From parents comes wisdom that helps the youth to get along in life much better than if they did not have instructions in wisdom. If children are thieves, the Holy Spirit speaks of them as worthless (Proverbs 28:24). The negative qualities that are in children currently (perhaps) and in those who have grown up exist because, in part, parents have failed the children in upbringing. The children will learn if the parents compel it; the children will adjust to the correction if the punishment has meat to it, so to speak. As a parent, you are not your child’s best friend, you’re are a parent, a role of authority and responsibility. Whatever may be said about a “best friend” application in the rearing years of the child, the primary role of a parent is to nurture, teach, and correct so the child will be productive in his/her adult years, but more importantly, so the child will walk in the Lord’s ways. Parents are to be understanding of the children and they are to discipline as required (Proverbs 13:24; 23:13). As much as possible parents should stay away from, “Do as I say, not as I do.”

There is no way a child can honor parents when the chosen life to live is contrary to the guidance of their parents, just like there is no way to honor God when people choose to live life contrary to His holy way.

What it means to honor your parents then? The English word “honor” conveys the idea of respect, deference, esteem and give precedence to them over others. This is best understood by asking the question, “Do we honor the Lord?” We do this not only because of who He is but also on account of His love. To honor one’s parent/parents is to respect, defer, esteem and give precedence to them over others as one would do so to the Lord. Some parent/child relationships are scarred from earlier years, thus there may not be a direct emotional connection between the two. As much as is in you (those struggling with this), honor your parents because you want to please the Lord.

How do you honor someone who d/n deserve it? An admitted difficulty. Perhaps along this line we can make an application. It’s not the particular people and their behavior (past or current), but the fact you have life. To the degree that you can honor parenting, even when your parents failed you, to that degree you might be able to make sense of what should have been done even though it was not. It’s hard to respect and honor people who live in rebellion to God; nevertheless, because of your love and devotion to the Almighty, honor Him and what He says.

How does a person show any love or honor to parents who abandoned him? How does God show love toward one who not only spit on Jesus, but nailed the pegs into His flesh and watched as He writhed in agony?

A Different Path from a Vantage Point

21 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by Ron Thomas in Uncategorized

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Tags

fruit, leadership, parenting, Samuel

There is an old saying that goes something like this: “The apple does not fall far from the tree.” This proverb addresses that which the son is like – the father already was. Of course, this is not always the case. Not only does experience teach us this, but the Scripture addresses it also (cf. Ezekiel 18). In my reading of 1 Samuel, I seem to continually think about this. Why did Samuel’s sons not follow the great prophet’s path (1 Samuel 8:3)? No way to know, of course, except to say they did not want to. One can hardly speculate with justification anything about Samuel’s parenting, for nothing is known. It could be, simply, that Samuel’s sons chose a different path than that which their father took.

From our vantage point we can see that the path chosen by Samuel’s sons was a path of destruction. I am confident that as Samuel reflected on his own experience with his sons, he remembered that which the Lord said to him in the long ago (1 Samuel 3) concerning Eli and how Eli addressed the sinfulness of his sons. We learn nothing of what Samuel did in regard to his sons, but we do learn what Eli did with regard to his sons. In fact, that which he did amounted to doing nothing. I would like to think that Samuel addressed his sons with force. Perhaps when he mentioned them in 1 Samuel 12:2 things were much better.

From the vantage point of Samuel’s sons, however, they saw things much differently than their father. The sons were a self-serving team of religious leaders who greatest interest was not the Lord’s but their own. From the vantage point of the people led, they looked upon the sons of Samuel and wanted something different than they had. In fact they wanted a king to be just like the nations around them.

The apple does not fall far from the tree, but the apple that fell might be a rotten apple. When one comes along and sees a rotten apple, then it is discarded quickly. The people of Israel saw rotten apples; not only did they discard the apples, but they went further and insisted on discarding the Lord’s method of guidance (1 Samuel 8:1-7).

The Lord allowed them, but before He granted their request, He made known the practical heartaches that were to come.

Some decisions in life have grave consequences; many never learn, but for those who do, remember that though the apple does not fall far from the tree; the fruit produced is the one of choice. Be sure the fruit you produce is the Lord’s holy fruit. RT

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